Dead Cert
by airbolt
Summary: A chance encounter by the Thames takes Bodie by surprise.
1. Chapter 1

Bodie looked over the Thames at the House of Parliament and muttered. He knew Doyle was going to be late but then again he was a reluctant partner in all of this. Collins in encryption had set it up. For reasons unbenown to man , Collins always seemed to have stunning women around. More Donald Pleasance than Donny Osmond , he was no one's idea of Adonis.

" It's the chat you see " Collins had once told Bodie , while simultaneously demolishing a wimpy burger. A piece of lettuce stuck to his lower lip. " They love the old banter and it just so happens that nature blessed me with a silver tongue". He practically leered when he said it . Bodie noticed that Collins tongue was more mustard than silver. Mind you Collins was immensely useful , unsackable and owed Bodie one.

" This spanish bird , she's gorgeous , blond and six foot with a lot up top . You know what I mean " . Collins had actually winked and made a cupping gesture. Bodie winced. His dry streak had been going on for six weeks and he was prepared to put up with this oaf. " Turns out that I'm seeing Elsie that night so I thought of my mate Bodie ".

What Collins had neglected to mention was that the "spanish bird " had a friend . Bodie had to spend the entire day talking Doyle into what amounted to a double blind date. Eventually , to keep him quiet , Doyle agreed to meet him on the embankment at eight. Bodie had planned to meet the girls at the Stanford at 8.30 and thought he and Ray might need a couple of looseners beforehand.

He looked at his watch . Four minutes past. Bodie noticed a girl near the stone wall on the boundary of the river. She was fighting and losing a battle with a huge rucksack. Some Inter-rail gap year hippy , thought Bodie. He sized her up and thought she was probably more Ray's cup of herbal tea. About six foot with her mousy brown hair cut shoulder length. Any clues as to her figure were purely speculative as she had a heavy check shirt on. Nevertheless Sir Bodie the noble went to the aid of all damsels , fanciable or not.

" Here, Love, let me help me with that " he said

With a surprising turn of speed , the girl swivelled and drove a doubled-fist straight into Bodie's " crown jewels ". As he sank to his knees he desperately hoped Doyle wasn't here to see the mighty SAS warrior felled by a sucker punch to the privates.

" Oh no , youre not Johann…I'm sorry . I'm really sorry " said the girl as she crouched over his wheezing figure " I thought you were my boyfriend. I'm so sorry "

" You.._gasp_..usually greet your…_wheeze_…boyfriend like that ?" croaked Bodie.

" Oh no , we had a big fight and he …goes off . I thought it was him , you see " she offered Bodie a hand up. Bodie eyes were watering and he thanked his years of discipline that prevented his automatic response to such an attack. Had she been a threat …..

" Just trying to help…" he said " It's what we do here..help strangers. Then we ignore them on the tube " Where did that come from. He looked at her again. She had a playful expression on her slightly pixie-like face. Sea-green eyes . No make up . So unlike his usual taste yet…

" My apologies Mr Englishman " she said with a smile " I'm not usually hitting strange men in the …capital of England"

Bodie laughed ,unsure of whether she had meant the word play. " Oh yes , London , the throbbing metropolis " he said with a mock wince.

" Now you are making fun of me , Mr Englishman " she said.

" Bodie . It's Bodie " he said " and you might be…"

" I "might be" Fanny Bankers Coen " she laughed" However my real name is Mieke Vatters , from Holland. Here to see your capital and seven others besides "

Bodie thought, I was right about the Inter-Rail.

" Anyway , Mr Bodie from England, I am sure that you have some lovely girl just waiting to ease your pain" she said under slightly lowered eyelids.

" Girl? …No, No . I'm just meeting someone for a drink. He should be here "

" Ah , you are not going with girl then? This is quite common in Holland but here in England you are very brave to be so open about it. If this is your friend then he is very handsome…I can see why you like him" she replied

" Like him…what…you mean …oh it's not like THAT . We're just mates…work colleagues ..i mean ..I'm not gay! " he spluttered

" Who's not gay? " said Doyle arriving at the opportune moment. " Is there something you're not telling me ?" Doyle wasn't really sure what was going on but it seemed like an inescapable opportunity to embarrass his friend.

" No..i mean..er , Mieke Vatters this is my soon-to-be dead colleague Ray Doyle " Bodie was turning pillar box red with embaressment.

" Pleased to meet you , Miss Vatters " said Doyle , recognising that the joke could only be taken so far.

Doyle turned to Bodie and said " I'm late , got held up by our ..manager. I wan't sure if we were meeting here or the Stanford"

" Change of plans " said Bodie . He couldn't believe what he was doing , blowing the chance of a " dead cert " for a stranger. He wanted to spend more time with her , sparring . " Miss Vatters..Mieke has had an upset with her boyfriend. I feel duty bound to redress her somewhat jaded view of our fair country "

Recognising a get lost signal he readied his excuse. Whenever he heard Bodie speaking like a poor man's Shakespeare he knew he had it bad.

" You know what, mate, I'm shattered " said Doyle " I'm heading back to my gaff for a kip ". He headed away in the direction of the Tube.

" He's going fishing at this time of night ?" enquired Mieke

Bodie laughed and picked up the rucksack like a child's toy

" My hero " Mieke laughed and they headed off along the embankment.


	2. Chapter 2

"Would you get that flaming grin off your face before Cowley sees you?" moaned Doyle

"Eh , sorry mate. Thanks for the nod" said Bodie

"So how was last night?" asked Doyle with a grin

"Some of us are gentlemen you know!" said Bodie feigning hurt feelings " So , all I'll tell you is that we went to her hotel in Shepherd's Bush and…"

"Good morning gentlemen !" Cowley walked in to the briefing room and a hush fell." Operation Arrow will commence at 14.00 today . I trust you've all read my notes…"

The briefing continued " …potential new ally…visiting ambassador…nationalists…". Bodie was taking it all in but part of his mind was thinking of last night. Of course , years of military training had taught him to look alert in briefings even when nursing a kingsize hangover.

"CI5 are running this one , with other agencies on a need to know " finished Cowley. Keep schtumm in other words.

Doyle laughed internally. The F.O were being extraordinarily kind to CI5 of late , instead of batting for one of their pets. Could it be anything to do with a 16mm film allegedly showing a cabinet minister exercising his…preferences? Cowley had got a lot of points for keeping it out of the tabloids.

Bodie picked up the gear for the op – mostly listening devices. Doyle came back from the motor pool.

" I picked up the Trannie – I see you've got the gear. We've got a bit of time, howabout you fill me in on your exploits?" said Doyle

" Look , this goes no further . I mean it! " Bodie was dead serious. " All we did was talk . All night. It's incredible ..i've never really talked to a bi..to a woman like that"

Doyle kept quiet.

" I can't even remember what we talked about. " said Bodie " I mean there's a difference to talking and the old flannel I usually give birds "

" Well that's a relief " said Doyle " For a moment there I thought you were getting deep on me "

" Steady on , it's me! Shallow as a millpond. Mind you , I wouldn't mind seeing her again. She's off to Paris in a couple of days. With this op , I might not get the chance" Bodie looked put out.

Collins walked past " That's the last time I do you a favor, mate! Conchita was on the blower telling me 'ow you stood er up. Flippin nora, talk about a gift horse." He disappeared towards the vending machine.

Bodie shrugged it off . All of a sudden the Conchitas, Doreens and Eileens of this world didn't seem to matter.


	3. Chapter 3

"We have these in Holland on a Saturday usually" Mieke smiled. She felt safe with this man. What would her friends say? Just look at him – he was a soldier, walked like a soldier and yet he didn't talk like a soldier. At least, once he started to talk for real. He had been the perfect gentleman all last night, sitting on the tatty chair in the low rent Shepherd's Bush hotel. She had sat on the bed, her legs pulled up to her chin, gradually relaxing in his company.

" Ah yes. You get a better class of tat at this one though!" grinned Bodie " You can't beat Portobello Road for antiques at prices you can't afford". Today's observation job had been scrubbed and he took some leave owed to him. Luckily Mieke hadn't left the hotel and seemed keen on a change of itinerary.

It was quite a squeeze getting down the street. There were plenty of bargain hunters who fancied themselves ahead of the game. The flinty eyed traders knew better.

" Theres a place here that Doyle raves about. I thought you might like it" Bodie gently touched her elbow to guide her. Mieke felt like it was an electric shock. She hadn't felt this…girlish in a long time. She giggled.

"What, you don't like Falafel?" asked Bodie, a little puzzled. The café under the M4 was crowded but they had found a couple of seats by the window.

"Of course. You haven't touched yours though" she smiled. That's because it tastes like aromatic Play-Doh, and the cous-cous is like Polyfilla, thought Bodie.

" I'm a slow eater" lied Bodie, with an insouciant grin.

"This is so much nicer than Hampton Court Palace" said Mieke. Outside a group of football hooligans kicked over a dustbin and chanted their undying love for Arsenal. Litter flew about in the vortices caused by the flyover. It looked like it might pelt down any minute.

"It must be my sparkling conversation and raffish good looks" laughed Bodie.

"No, it's your modesty" grinned Mieke " Your friend is better looking"

"Doyle? The flying poodle? I'm mortally wounded!" said Bodie, holding his chest. They laughed and finished the meal. As they left, Bodie offered his arm and Mieke took it.


	4. Chapter 4

" That's one of Goldfinger's finest achievements" said Mieke, pointing at the odd looking tower block near Ladbroke Grove. It was a tall oblong in concrete with a separate tower for the stairwells. Severall youths with acne used it as support.

"Hate to see one of his worst" said Bodie " It's a shi…". He was about to complete the word when he realised that Mieke was serious". He tried a joke." Wasn't he sucked out of the plane at the end of the film?"

"Not that one, Mr Action-man!" she laughed and playfully thumped his arm " Ernest Goldfinger was an architect. Ian Fleming loathed him and used his name in the novel. So you were a little right!" She laughed triumphantly and skipped away. Bodie ran after her. She faked a terrified look as Bodie caught up with her.

"Oh no, there's a rough english fellow following me!" she giggled as she said it.

"I resemble that remark!" laughed Bodie and put his arm around her shoulder.

"Am I in custody?" she gave him a shy look.

"Yes" grinned Bodie " Your sentence is at least two hours at the Canal Arms"

"I'll come quietly" she looked at him directly as she said it. Bodie felt a tingle run through him. Had she meant what he thought or was it an accident of translation?

The Canal Arms was only half full. There was a football match on the TV : Italy versus France. An old boy made a joke about an Italian player who had the same name as a Q.P.R player. His mates laughed a little too much. The aussie behind the bar handed Bodie two pints of Carlsberg. He went out to the small terrace that overlooked the canal basin.

"This is the Grand Union Canal" said Bodie as he sat down " It was built by a Mister Grand and a Mister Union"

" Leuganaar!" she laughed "Lief maar hoogtepunt van verhalen"

" What's that about Van Halen?" he replied with a grin.


	5. Chapter 5

The walls throbbed with the music from the party next door.

" Maybe I should have a word" said Bodie.

"It's my last night in London" said Mieke " I'm not sure I want you taken away by the peelers".

" How old were your english textbooks" laughed Bodie

"Rotter!" giggled Mieke and threw a pillow at Bodie. They sat in a fairly ramshackle room in a cheesy Shepherd's Bush hotel. Apart from the pulsing music there was something else in the air. Mieke had draped a scarf over the bedside lamp. Bodie thought it was a green light but waited. He was desperate not to rush this…whatever it was.

" How did you like the tour?" he asked. He looked at the half empty bottle of wine on the table.

" I liked it but sometime I found it difficult to..follow the signs" purred Mieke.

"Oh" said Bodie. Mieke quietly got up and went to the bathroom.

"Make sure you don't start without me" she giggled.

The music was getting louder, which was just as well.


	6. Chapter 6

" That's when I found the welsh unicyclist in flagrante with the Nolan sisters" said Doyle

" Er, what? " said Bodie " I was miles away"

" It's your round, mate. Make this the last one mind. Cowley's got us on earlies tomorrow" grinned Doyle. The pub was fairly dead as the European Cup was on telly. The clientele of the Queen Mary vetoed any attempt to put a portable set behind the bar. Telly in a boozer? Not right!

" Seriously though " observed Doyle " You've been on planet zanussi all night. I miss your usual rapier-like wit"

" Get stuffed" said Bodie, laughing. The smile didn't really reach his eyes. " O.K, promise me something. Not a word of this goes any further."

" Yeah, of course. I promise" said Doyle. This was a bit unusual.

" Well. It's Mieke. The girl I told you about. Don't laugh but I think she's a bit different…a bit special" Bodie said , looking at his best friend.

" Ah. " said Doyle. This was definitely unusual. The Bird-Bandit in love? Surely some mistake.

" She left for Paris this morning. She gave me her address in Holland and said we should stay in touch" mused Bodie " This isn't me, though, is it? Mean, keeping in touch and all that palaver. Love 'em and leave 'em, that's the Bodie way!"

We're into uncharted waters here, thought Doyle.

" Isn't she doing the fifty countries in twenty days thing?" he asked . Bodie nodded. " Well, you've got time to sleep on it then. Then, if you still feel like dropping her a line, then go for it. End of "

" You don't look like Marje Proops" said Bodie

" That's the thanks I get" winced Doyle. " I'm away. See you bright and early"

" There's something I've got to know, Ray. It's very important" said Bodie.

" What?" said Doyle , standing at the exit.

" I have to know…….if Arsenal won!" Bodie had a big stupid grin on his face.

" Get knotted!" laughed Doyle. Normal service resumed, at least for now.


	7. Chapter 7

He was totally naked but the vast collection of potted plants in front of the window shielded his lower half from the street outside. He breathed on the window and wrote his name. Bodie. He smiled. Why wasn't all leave like this? There was a hand touching him, somewhere south of the potted plants.

" Guess who?" said the voice

" Can I have a clue?" said Bodie, without turning.

" I'm from Holland" came the reply

" It's not Tintin, is it? What would Captain Haddock say?" grinned Bodie.

" That's Belgium, you loon" the female voice was laughing.

" Queen Beatrix?" continued Bodie.

" I slept with you last night, remember!" she said.

" It IS Queen Beatrix! " laughed Bodie, turning to face Mieke. She was dressed in his shirt. It looked better on her.

" How's my Soldier Boy this morning, eh?" Mieke asked , tilting her head slightly.

" Ready to present arms, SAHH" said Bodie

" Yes, I can see" replied Mieke.

Breakfast was subsequently delayed for a while. He took a shower and marvelled at how anyone could live in such a tiny apartment. His was Old Trafford in comparison.

" Hmm, what culinary marvels await?" he ventured in the kitchen, which was not much more than a closet.

" Omelettes, with raisins and pretty much what's left over " said Mieke.

" Hmm, I'm guessing that a Bacon sarnie is…thought not!" asked Bodie." Why is there hundreds and thousands on the table?". He pointed to the cake decoration.

" Oh, that's for the sandwiches" said Mieke " or there's nutella"

" I can just about cope with what you put on chips" said Bodie " I could get used to it though."

" I wondered if you wanted to see the Rijksmuseum this morning.?" said Mieke. Bodie thought that Ray would probably go for that artsy crap." Maybe a walk along the canal? Theres a lovely café near the Leidseplein. No worries, we haven't got a timetable "

As she got dressed Bodie picked up the paper. He hadn't really seen any of Amsterdam on prior visits. It was mostly getting tanked up and a visit to some tom afterwards. Now he wanted to take his time with a girl he could be seen with in daylight.

Later, on the tram he stood behind her and gave her a gentle squeeze.

" Hold very tight, please " he whispered. She giggled.


	8. Chapter 8

" Maybe you want to see "_**Hooray for a Couple of Fists?**_**"" **said Mieke. Bodie looked startled. It sounded like one of the Videos the Vice Squad had lent him. Then he looked at the Poster and laughed . It was "_**A Fistful of Dollars**_" mangled by a translator, presumably unaware of the nuances.

Mieke looked slightly puzzled. " I thought Clint Eastwood might be just up your avenue yes? All that derring-do and macho hows-your-father" Bodie stifled a laugh. Mieke's colloquial english was , to say the least, esoteric.

" I modelled myself on him " replied Bodie " The growl, the hair and the testosterone-laden attitude are all down to Clint!"

"Leugenaar!" giggled Mieke,

"You must tell me what that means. I just assumed it meant "Potent Lover" or something like that" laughed Bodie.

"It means Idiot!" said Mieke.

"I'm mortally offended and feel the need to return to England with or without passing Go" grinned Bodie.

" You're my kind of idiot though" said Mieke quietly, looking at her hands, then at Bodie.

" Mieke, I…." Bodie was lost for words. Mieke put a finger on his lips.

"I know" she said.

Amsterdam was the world. The only world that mattered on that day and that moment.


End file.
